Left Behind.... Again....

awwww... is it 10 pm already? if it is then maybe my brothers plane bound for LA is already in the process of taking off, my mom's ship bound for Cebu is already hauling the anchors ready to sail, and maybe, if my Dad was being a drama king and waited at the airport until my brother boarded the plane, then his taxi would be cruising along some road in Manila right now going back to his hotel.

it feels weird here at home... it's just the 3 of us (Me, Miguel and Carlos) and our yaya here. It used to be really chaotic here because we'd argue over random stuff, hide the remote so you get dibs on the TV, annoy the person who's using the PC in the next room, tease each other at the dinner table... etc. So this is how it feels like to be apart from your family? it really feels weird. we are not the mushy kind of family and we are not cheesy, we uber rarely say 'i love you' to each other yet we know how much we love each other. i grew up with my brothers always by my side... they were my playmates, pets, puppets..etc. i think it's because of the age gap that we are so close.... even if we fight a lot, well we fight because we find fighting a lot of fun. hahaha...

i remembered a comment from a neighbor a long time ago... she said she liked looking at us because if you see 1 of us then expect to see the other 3 nearby, we were never far from each other. weird... weird... weird. Gah! OK!!! i'll miss my brother... actually i already miss him. He's the one who's usually at home so i call him whenever i forget something important and have him bring it over to wherever i am, i call him when i want to be fetched from school and if he refuses i call my mom so she can yell at him to fetch me... he's like the eldest instead of me. besides.... he's like one of the few people who can counter-attack my sarcasm.

ah drama! whatever... i just hope they'll all be always safe...


Pitz! i know you read my blogs you dork (multiply)... DON'T FORGET MY IPOD TOUCH!!! and be careful there.. take care of yourself because you know you are prone to nosebleeds and i fear you'd loose all your blood because the english there would cause you to have nosebleeds... nyahahaha... blood transfusion would be very hard because american pigs blood is not compatible with your local pigs blood... bwahahaha... oi! shit! i've written my whole blog in english... aaaah... GO WIPE YOUR NOSE PITZ!! bwahahaha.... assface!

No Leave Us BFF...

SENTI MODE. i can't sleep... i can't sleep even if i had but so little sleep the last time. My BFF (Best Friend Forever... ahahaha) is leaving. She's going to Manila and she's gonna leave us here. Yeah, Yeah! not so far... but still. We've been friends for a long time and i know distance is not gonna change that friendship... it's just what's sad about it is that i got used to her being here. Even when we don't see each other as often as we did before but just the thought that i'd only have to text her "where you at?" and then BAM! reply location and i go see her. It's not only her but all my friends (ROCKERS!). It's funny how when we were younger we planned this and that and then suddently... BAM! you grow up, you face reality and reality is that someday you have to go separate ways because we have separate lives and separate dreams. I know that doesn't mean goodbye for good but it's just kind of hard... and what's harder is that I am the one left behind. HAH! It really feels different when we just talk about going separate ways than it actually happening... it sucks. I know we'd still see each other... maybe it's just hard for me to accept the change because my friends are very dear to me along with my family. oh well...

Wuble you watch out! after i graduate i'll leave too so you'd know what it feels like to be left behind! AHAHAHAHA!! but really... BON VOYAGE! Take Care!!

BOO! Sarprise!

1... 2.... 3... how many years has it been since i've last tinkered with my blog? ugh! been really BUSY these past few months. i know.. i know... you're thinking "Maan? Busy?! hahaha... fat chance!" yes, fat chance... but sadly it's the truth. I soooo want a time machine. If there's one i would so use it and go back to the day i decided to join the CIT-Student Body Organization... GAH! what the heck did i eat that day?!?! i so wanna go back and undo that decision! ugh! if i didn't join the Org then i'd be enjoying my BUM life. BLAH! though... for once in my life i experienced what it's like to be a responsible student... this is my last year so what the heck! HAHAHA....

With some of the girls who were as dumb as me and joined the Org. hahaha... (Jacky, Leslie, Alting, ME, Hani) hahaha... si Amay natabunan.

Back to School Blues...

june... let the rain fall and let the students go back to school.

school started uhmm.. on the 12th of june... but i just went back to school last monday.. hahahaha. yet i'm still not in the mood for school.. i just don't feel it. i'm tired.. i just wanna get it over and done with. ugh! i know... 4th year.. this is my last year but i am sick of it. i'm tired... i'm lazy... so what if i'm lazy? i never claimed that i was hardworking or whatever.

yeah.. i just needed to get that out. oh... and i abhor Wendy of PBB 2! she makes my blood boil and she has stupid reasonings. hmm.. just an opinion. whatever. oohhh... and i love Mickey... actually no... i love Gee-ann and i'm INLOVE with Mickey! there's a difference.. haha... i love how Mickey thinks... my dream boy just revealed himself. hahahaha...

Boring Boring... BOOOOORRRING...

"I could tell from the minute i woke up it was gonna be a lonely lonely lonely lonely day..."

a line from the song Lonely Day by Phantom Planet.


it's as boring as the summer could get. my OJT is over... i can't go to the gym because i wasn't feeling well... don't want to go to the mall because i gots no money (i am so not the window shopping type. i hate it when i see something i like and i can't get it)... there's nothing good to watch on TV and i can't even rely on PBB2 24/7 because PBB2 got reaaaaallllly BORING. ugh! they got boring and stupid tasks and they mostly show "BRENDY"... whatdafuck?! it's getting so annoying that whenever i see their faces on TV an hear their mushy lines and stuff... it makes me want to vomit, pull my hair out and destroy the TV. corny! corny! corny!

i need something to entertain me... FAST!!... something that doesn't involve any money because, as i said, I DON'T HAVE MONEY... and i think i'm still on my mom's hitlist because she got my phone bill and i just broke my last record (this time i reached 6k+ hahaha).

oh.. i got my grades, including my grade from my OJT, and i must say. EFFORTLESS! hahahaha. i got higher marks than the hardworking students... gah! i'm afraid my classmates will skin me alive because i somehow manage to get high grades without so much as breaking a sweat. ahahaha... so what if it's unfair... THE WORLD IS UNFAIR! i didn't ask for the grades.. they were just given to me and i am soooo not gonna act like a "martyr" or whatnot and go approach my instructors and tell them "please change my grade because i don't think i deserve it." HA! Fat Chance!!!

anyways.. just felt like getting that out. ha! whatever...

kablag!

hahaha.. no gym today. rest day coz it's my mother's birthday. yehey! haha.. got to really go on a diet and exercise my butt out... my clothes shrunk.. sucks!! haha.. anyways... looky what i found. chasecake tagged me.. and since i'm here with nothing productive to do why not answer this stuff..


three names you go by:
1. maan
2. anafaye (nyehehehe)
3. buang

three screen names you have had:
1. maandgreat
2. foxfire
3. ^Bite_Me^

three physical things you like about yourself:
1. eyes
2. hair
3. nose

three physical things you don't like about yourself:
1. height
2. tummy
3. back

three parts of your heritage:
1. Filipino
2. Spanish
3. and something i'm not so sure of... abnormal (nyahahaha)

three things that scare you:
1. losing a loved one
2. needles
3. COCKROACHES!! (bugs!)

three of your everyday essentials:
1. bodyspray/perfume
2. lotion
3. lip gloss

three of your favorite musical artists:
(awww.. this is hard because i lurve a lot of artists)
1. The Corrs
2. Corinne Bailey Rae
3. Nelly Furtado

three of your favorite songs:
(awww... this hard too coz me lurve lots of songs.. me lurve music)
1. "Destiny" by Zero 7
2. "Sleeps With Butterflies" by Tori Amos
3. "One Moment More" by Mindy Smith

three things you want in a relationship:
1. love
2. honesty
3. spontaneity (i get bored easily so amuse me.. hahaha)

three lies and truths in no particular order:

lies:
1. i am nice.
2. i am tall.
3. i don't care.

truth:
1. my name is Marie Anafaye.
2. i was born on the 5th of April 1985.
3. i can be very convincing when i lie. (bwahahaha)

three physical things about the opposite sex that appeals to you:
1. eyes
2. teeth
3. hair

three of your favorite hobbies:
1. net surfing
2. playing computer games
3. reading

three things you want to do really badly now:
1. sleep
2. buy a new pair of chucks (specifically this)
3. eat lots of chips and chocolates (but i can't coz my clothes shrunk... huhuhu)

three careers you're considering/you've considered:
1. doctor
2. web/multimedia/graphic designer
3. BUM

three places you want to go on vacation:
1. bahamas
2. hawaii
3. italy

three kid's names you like:
1. Marcus Andrea (an-drey)
2. Aaliyah Andrea (an-dre-ya)
3. Gianne (jee-yan)

three things you want to do before you die:
1. get to drive and own a porsche carrera GT.
2. bungee jump from a tall tall tall place or skydive.
3. change the world. (or at least OUR country.. harhar)

three ways that you are stereotypically a boy:
1. i love playing computer games.
2. i love love love war games. (paintball, airsoft, "laser"... as long as you get to shoot members of the other team)
3. i love cars.

three ways that you are stereotypically a girl:
1. "waaahh... Mama that stupid guy is being mean!!"
2. clothes.. clothes... clothes..
3. i hate wearing the same things over and over again.

three celeb crushes:
1. Sean Faris
2. Adam Brody
3. Vanessa Hudgens

my turn to tag...

three people that i would like to see take this quiz:
1. Cara
2. Pitz
3. Mikko

Happy Birthday...

awwzers! it's my beloved Mom's Birthday today...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAMA!!

gah! i know she won't be able to read this and all but then again.. haha.. anyways. I LOVE YOU Ma!! and i already told you before.. more like wrote.. that i may never always tell you that I Love You but that doesn't mean that i don't love you or that i love any less. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

Let me Sleep and Vacation Stuff

waaaaah.. what is this? make fun of maan day?!?! waaaahh.. it sucks!! i was already asleep and then suddently.. RRRRRRIIIIIIINNNNNNGGG!!! waaaah... i forgot i was tinkering with the alarm clock earlier and i set it on the time and this is what i got!! THIS SUCKS!!!

oh well.. since i've been ignoring my blog i thought why not waste my energy here. hahaha... i've been gone for a loooooong time yet noting exciting ever happened in my life. i'm currently working this summer (OJT) and last holy week we were in Leyte.

gah! let me tell you... in Leyte i was sooooo bored! i brought my laptop with me and i connected it to the internet using my phone.. and let me tell you. my billing for this month is a whooping 5,000 php. that's how bored i was and.... i am sooo dead! we stayed in my Mom's hometown.... Kananga, Leyte (go find it in the map... if you can find it! hahaha). i also spent my birthday there... we went to Tacloban on my birthday and we just went to see some sights... too bad the Sto. Nino was closed (Marcos' tiny wittle mansion in Tacloban). gah! want pictures?

on the back of the Multicab under the heat of the SCORCHING SUN!!! we're still in Ormoc and it'll be about... uhmm.. close to an hour? before we get to Kananga.

i gots me nothing to do! it's hot hot hot hot hot!!

on my right... this is all that there is on the way to Kananga.


on my left... the guy is my brother by the way.


MacArthur in Tacloban... He shall return!! haha..


part of San Juanico bridge. It connects Leyte and Samar and it's about 2 km. whew!

HELP! waaahh...

ugh! this is soooo tiring. demmit! i'm supposed to be making my school projects right now but it's really starting to get on my nerves! i'm tired and bored of looking at codes and i feel lazy encoding stuff for my case study. hay... i really have a love/hate thing for finals. i love that the semester is almost over but i HATE.. LOATHE.. ABHOR the fact that the teachers dump all the work on finals!! really!! you have to do everything all at once!! the hell... anyways i can't do anything about that now except do the assigned work but at least i was able to let off steam or else i'd explode.


on to the next topic... ermmm... hehe... my current obsession right now...


yes people... Goong, Palace or Princess Hours.. whatever.. ME?! watch a korean drama? hah! if you're surprised then i'm also surprised myself. i never thought the day would come when i'd go gaga over something like this but lo and behold! i think this is my karma for telling people who watch this kind of stuff "YAKS!" and "EWW!" so i've accepted it and now i'm no longer ashamed to admit that i LOVE this show. in my defense though... the story is really cute, the actors gave justice in portraying their characters and the leads have great chemistry (Ji Hoon and Eun Hye) . gah! while watching this show i found myself laughing, crying (it is sooo embarassing to say this but i bawled my eyes out near the end), smiling, snorting, getting annoyed, getting "kilig", etc.. but most of all i found myself wanting MORE!! waaaaahh.. more Princess Hours!! i can't seem to get enough of it! hahaha... i want the original dvd... the one with bloopers and behind the scenes stuff... tsk! i think i've embarassed myself enough to last me a lifetime. hahaha..


back to work... hay...

V-Day Date...

ahahaha... it seems i'm already starting to neglect this blog.. haha.. anyways. yesterday was V-Day.. Valentine's Day, the hallmark made holiday just so they can sell more cards.. hah!

i had a lunch date yesterday.... with my FRIENDS! weeee... it was fun and i really missed the good old days. I was with Wuble, Jni, Ragmar, Ivy and Vangie (Susy, Ria and Kalang were not able to go and Sam and Cara.. hehe)... too bad the time we spent together wasn't that long because all of us still got lots of stuff to do. Gah! i missed those girls sooooo much!!! we're not able to spend more time with each other now because of busy schedules and different activities. in the old times we used to do almost everything together but now it seems we've gone separate ways... maybe because we've grown up and it means more responsibilities.

when i look back in the past... i was never really used to being alone because i always had my friends there with me. but now i am used to being alone, to not rely on them always to back me up on every single thing because sometimes there are just some things you have to do on your own but i know my friends will always be there when i need them. Even though some people see them as harsh and uncaring people (you do NOT want to piss these girls off... SERIOUSLY!)... you can never really judge someone you don't know. We've been friends for a long time now and if WE really were what others perceive US to be then i'm sure we would have not lasted this long.

ROCKERS!!!

RENT HangOver

one of the things i want to do before i die.... is watch RENT the musical on Broadway.

i have a simple case of RENT hangover. i was at the mall one day and i entered the video store... i looked for some movies to buy and when i was about to pay i turned my head and found a VCD copy of Rent (yes, i bought a VCD coz what if i don't like the movie then i'd just be wasting moolah... but i'm so gonna buy a DVD copy of Rent).. so yeah! i saw it and thought... what the heck! the cover looks interesting lemme buy that! and so starts my addiction... haha..

Ok. Rent... it's about a group of bohemians who struggle to live in some place in New York. the thing is they not only struggle with poverty but they also have to deal with a lot of other stuff like Addiction, AIDS, love... etc. awkie. in the movie we have...


Mark Cohen - a filmmaker wannabe who is Roger's best friend. He is also Maureen's ex-boyfriend who got dumped for a girl.

Roger Davis - a reclusive singer/songwriter and former junkie who is Mark's best friend. The guy who caught the eye of Mimi.

Mimi Marquez - a 'dancer' at the Cat scratch Club and a junkie who fell for the cold as ice Roger.

Angel Schunard - (my favorite character) a transvestite who is HIV positive. He... or rather She fell inlove with Tom.

Tom Collins - a friend of Mark and Roger. an M.I.T kick-out who is also HIV positive.

Joanne Jefferson - the ivy league graduate smarty pants lawyer and Maureen's girlfriend.

Maureen Johnson - the feisty performance artist who planned a protest against Benny. She dumped Mark for Joanne.

Benjamin Coffin III - also known as Benny. He was friends with Mark, Roger and Tom until he married rich and moved out.


hah! and that is it... but really. it's sooo much better on stage... on BROADWAY!! any sponsors there? hahaha...

why i seem like i don't care...

Whatever Will Be

by:Vanessa Hudgens

Sometimes I feel like I'm a bird with broken wings

At times I dread my now and envy where I've been
But that's when quiet wisdom takes control
At least I've got a story no one's told

I finally learned to say
Whatever will be will be
I've learned to take
The good, the bad and breathe
'Cause although we like
To know what life's got planned
No one knows if shooting stars will land

These days it feels naive to put your faith in hope
To imitate a child, fall backwards on the snow
'Cause that's when fears will usually lead you blind
But now I try to under-analyse

Is the rope I walk wearing thin?
Is the life I love caving in?
Is the weight on your mind
A heavy black bird caged inside?

Say
Whatever will be will be
Take
The good, the bad
Just breathe

'Cause although we like
To know what life's got planned
No one knows if shooting stars will land

Whatever will be will be
I learned to take
The good, the bad and breathe
'Cause although we like
To know what life's got planned
Thing like that are never in your hands
No one knows if shooting stars will land

i love that song because it just about sums up how i live my life. sometime people keep on planning, even the smallest details, that they freak out if something unplanned comes along their way. i'm not saying planning is wrong... it's actually good to know what we want, have an insight of what we want our futures to be and do what we have to do to achieve them. but expecting everything to go as planned? that is just setting yourself up for major disappointment.

i've learned that life is full of uncertainties and that expecting for something almost always lead to disappointment. so i just live for today and do what i must to not screw up my tomorrow and if life gives me unexpected surprises, good or bad, then i take it and move on. life is too short for regrets. when we do something we should know there are always consequences, be it good or bad, and we should learn how to live with it. if it was a mistake then learn and if it wasn't then good.

it's ok to be scared of what the future brings but fear shouldn't let us dictate what we do. as what i've heard before... if you want something to change then do something you've never done before. and if you do something different... that's when the surprises come in.



Lovingly Yours,
master yoda (haha)

random rants 01

i got nothing better to do... waaah! i was supposed to upload some stuff but multiply is still down. bummer! i am hungry but we can't eat dinner yet 'coz we're waiting for some visitors to arrive... demmit! i wanna eat! i wanna eat!

anywhoo... just about a few days ago i was talking to a friend and he checked out my multiply site and he read my blog there... he then asked why there isn't anything written about him there (why i didn't rant and rave when i was mad at him) this guy just practically disappeared out of my life months ago without even a goodbye. anyways... we talked again. he apologized and i sort of forgave him so i talked to him again. besides i was thinking 'hey! if you disappear again and we're not friends anymore then it's not my fault because i did forgive you... FOR THE SECOND TIME AROUND!' (hmm.. guess i'm not that cold hearted of a b**ch after all).

it just irks me because i don't let many people get too close to me. sure i got lots of friends and all but there are only a few people i allow to get a glimpse of who and how i really am. really, if you plan on disappearing from my life just say so... i won't stop you. i'd even delete you from my life voluntarily and not waste hardisk space in my life for you because there a lot more people out there i can install in my life (computer talk much? haha..).

ok that's enough. i can go eat now. and for that friend who asked why i didn't write about him...
well... this is it now... you can't complain anymore, can you? hahahaha....

hello blogspot...

well... well... well...

Hello blogspot! i've actually been here for awhile but i just forgot about it. i actually made it here after i tore out my journal and burned it... haha. it's either keep a journal (or a 'diary' if you must really call it that) and risk having my brothers or anyone in this house to find it or keep an online blog and have other people find it? either way whatever it is you wrote will be read... today... tomorrow... the next week... maybe a hundred years from now (unless of course you burn it. hah!). i've been ranting on multiply actually and in some online forums... so really this isn't the first time i wreck havoc online. haha.

anyways... whatever! i may be keeping this blog... or not... we'll just see because i am notorious for starting things i don't finish. but wouldn't it be cool if people in the future can read what you wrote? they'd be like.. "oh! so that's how they lived in the old ages. back when they had no flying cars and these mini gadgets that can teleport you anywhere..." hah!